Making the decision to send our son to residential therapeutic school was the hardest decision of my life.
It took us about a year too long to do it. He had been tough for a while, but really went off the deep end at 13.
But we kept expecting and hoping that he would “get it,” that he’d start going to school, get off the computer, stop smoking, stop stealing our credit cards, be less violently angry, etc. etc.
But we finally had the people come in the middle of the night and whisk him away to Utah.
He was gone two and a half years of his high school years. And while it was tough (for all of us) and he hated every moment of it, it was the right thing to do. It was how we kept him safe during those difficult years and he learned a lot. And he did finally graduate high school (it was touch and go there right up until the end!).
This is the thing: He wasn’t the only one who had to change for us to have a happy ending.
At some point, I finally realized that I was parenting my son in a way that was not helpful: through guilt. It created separation. It was part of the dynamic that kept him in his troubled ways. I also had emotional triggers that would make me react to him in certain ways – and they actually had nothing to do with him.
When I started reacting to him differently, it was a turning point for our relationship. We actually like each other again! I also firmly believe that he would not be where he is today if I had not figured out my own stuff.
These troubled teen years were the toughest of my life, and I found there was very little help out there for the parents going through it – especially from someone who had been there. I really could have used some support and understanding!
Now, I’m committed to helping you — the mom dealing with the desperation and heartache of having an out-of-control teen – survive these years and rebuild your relationship with your teen.
So I wrote my book, Surviving the High School Years with Your Sanity Intact: A Guide for Moms of Out-of-Control Teens.
And now I’m starting to work with moms directly. I so want to be there for you. We’ll cry together a little, but mostly I’ll help you work through all those overwhelming emotions. I’ll also help you get clear headed so that you can see what your next step should be. And I’ll help you find the way to create what you so desperately want: a renewed relationship with your child.
If you are interested in having somebody who has been where you are help you with this challenge and help turn things around, email me so we can talk about what that looks like.